A first meeting for marriage, step by step
A first meeting for marriage is a short, public conversation to see whether it's worth going further. Arrive on time, greet each other with salaam, talk about what matters to you both and end politely whatever you decide. Bringing a wali or family member is normal and welcome, as long as the other person knows beforehand.
Before you arrive
A booked time is at the cafe's shofa table, for that cafe's slot length. If you switched on I'll bring a chaperone, the other person will already have seen it. You can send set messages such as On my way or Running about 10 minutes late.
Arriving
Scan the code on the counter to check in. The other person will see that you've arrived. Then head to the shofa table. If you can't see each other, send I'm at the window table or Can't find you, I'm by the counter. Staff will already have the booking on their screen.
At the table
Say salaam, order something, and start with the basics. Both profiles already show marital status, children, practice and timeframe. Start with the questions that matter most to you. Our list of questions to ask before marriage may help.
If you've brought someone
A wali or family member might sit with you or nearby. Introduce them, and let the two of you do most of the talking.
Ending politely
Thank each other and say goodbye at the table. Names and numbers are swapped in person, if at all, often through a wali. The app will then ask how it went. You can skip that question. If anything made you uncomfortable, tell staff, and report it.
Related
See how shofa.social works, the page for families and safety at the table.